Today I had my first experience "correcting" a child for the way that she was treating Adelaide. I'm pretty sure it hurt me more then it hurt the little girl I was correcting. Tyler and I have been talking a lot about dealing with these different experiences a lot lately mostly because we've been having them so often. Usually good teaching experiences...just little kids asking questions which I absolutely love. I like when kids are bold enough to ask and not just stare or run away. We've been at the pool/splash park tons this summer and so we are around small children all the time. I'm getting used to that part, it doesn't really bother me anymore.
But today was more like alienation then curiosity. This little girl said she didn't want Adelaide around her after I had already explained to her and several other children why she was the way she was and that she was no different from them. It startled me at first. Adelaide has become a very social child. She loves to go where the kids are and play which you think would be a good thing, and it is sometimes and will probably be more so when she's older but right now, when she can't speak for herself, she goes up to kids and some of them run away. I kindly told the little girl that it wasn't a nice thing to say and it makes Adelaide sad when she's treated differently then other children. She is not different then her. She continues to play but I see it. I know that someday this will become easier too but these first experiences are really hard to swallow. It truly hurts to see your child treated like they have some kind of disease that might catch and is one of the hardest things I've had to deal with so far. I know that Adelaide might someday feel the way I do when I see kids act this way and it makes it all the harder. Even as I write this those feelings come back and just make me weep for those experiences that are to come.
I pray for grace with these kids. Especially the ones that are old enough to know better. And also with their parents because I know that someday I'm going to have to ask a parent to correct their own child for harsh comments. You would be amazed at the some of the things we've watched that parents have done nothing to teach or correct (including a child that was definitely old enough to know better pointing right in front of Adelaide and yelling at his mother clear across the park to look at her. I was not near her at the time) We get lots of advice that is very helpful to remember when going through things like this but I truly believe it's just going to take time and more trials to really be able to deal with them appropriately and have them not effect me so deeply. I need to thicken my skin so that I can help Adelaide thicken hers. I thank God that she is young and innocent for that very reason.
This is a daily struggle for me and Tyler and will soon be one for Adelaide and I know that our constant prayer for grace towards others and a just plain good manners will be needed to get through it. We have to admit, there are many times we'd just like to yell at some people or stare right back to give them a taste of their own medicine (adults included) but we'll refrain. I also pray for the friends that Adelaide will one day make, they will surely be incredible people.
Moral of the story: teach your kids acceptance early so I don't have to.
New family pic!
And this is why we are so very proud of you! You are doing an amazing job in, what many many times, is not a very nice world. And you have God, enough said..... He will see you and Adelaide through whatever the world throws at you. We can see it already, that little girl is going to SHINE through anything this old cruel world may throw at her. I'm glad we have a front row seat to watch God work through this little,sweet, beautiful girl. Love you all very much!!
ReplyDeleteOh Megan! How hard it would be to have to handle those situations! I can tell you and Tyler are Amazing parents and Adelaide is very blessed to have you two! I will pray for you, as parents, and for Adelaide's future encounters. And you definetely said it right - she is going to have some amazing friends in her future that will for sure be very special people - and they will stand up for/with Adelaide and protect her just like you and Tyler do now!
ReplyDeleteWow. Your story is so touching. It hits close to home for me. I have a three year old daughter that had cataract surgery when she was one and has to wear a patch and big framed glassas all the time. SHe gets stared at alot and asked why she has those silly glasses on all the time by kids. I also have a two year old daughter that has speech apraxia. She deosnt realy talk at all. She just makes a humming sound and points at things all the time. It is very frustrating at times because she cant tell me what is wrong or what she needs or wants. They say that she is a year or so behind in her speech due to it. I remember when she was a baby she didnt even babble. She is just now starting to do that. It is crazy the things that we take for granted. I know what it feels like to have those people stare at her and you. I also know how it feels for parents to not teach their kids manners. Sometimes there is just that one kid that just says the meanest thing and their parent just stands there and watches. I feel so bad for their child that they arent teaching them any manners. I was raised to treat everyone the same and to not be mean to anyone even if they are different. People now days are so disrespectful. Its so sad. Those kids that are mean are going to have a rude awakening in life. Your litle girl is precious! She is soooo adorable! SHe is truly one of gods lil angels. May God Bless your family! Remember that God always has a purpose for everything.
ReplyDeleteI found myself tearing up right along with you but your family's strength of character will surely set your precious little one up with all that she will need to break down those barriers that seem so prevalent now. I do know one thing my children will definitely be taught that no matter the differences you may see on the outside we are all precious creations made in the image of God and we all deserve the same friendship and love!
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that there are parents out there that will correct their kids and not let behavior like that happen. I know that you feel as though we are not out there, but we are. When my little (who is 2) comments on a child who doesn't look exactly like him, I try to make it a teaching moment and I tell him: though the child doesn't look exactly like him, that child is just like him - s/he likes to play and eat ice cream and pet animals just like he does. But, until you come across more of us, just remember that Adelaide will have strength in her that you never knew she had, to bear the best *and* the worst. Best wishes to you, Mama.
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